Nessie's Life
by russetfurbr
Summary: Nessie's life after rejecting Jake's imprinting. A human marriage, a broken heart and true love. Warning: Character's death. ONE SHOT.


**DISCLAIMER: I DON´T OWN ANY OF THE CARACTHERS OR TWILIGHT SAGA. **

**I read a story one of these days that presented a very furious Nessie that wanted to be with a human and despised Jacob and the imprinting. **

**And that made me angry because, as everyone knows, I love J&N fanatically. (I'm not going to tell which story was, that would be just anti ethical)**

**Then a story popped out in my mind and I couldn't think about anything else besides it (on the writing matter, of course). I couldn't even write properly a new chapter of Losing Soul.**

**So I decided writing it down already so I can move on with my life. **

**A warning: it's depressive.**

"Listen to me, your stupid stinky wolf! I'm not your property, I'm not your mate, I never gonna be with you! I hate you! I already told you this before but you're just too damn stupid to understand. You disgust me, Jacob Black. Get out of my house, get out of my life! Leave now and never come back!" she yelled with all the force of her lungs.

Nessie was so angry. She couldn't stand him; she hated him from the bottom of her heart.

He was always around, always watching her, always trying to get her attention, to win her heart. It was sickly pathetic. She couldn't look at that ridiculous sad face. Why didn't he take the hint? She had told him a million times that she didn't want him, that she thought that that so called imprinting was bullshit, a poor excuse to his obsession about her.

But this time he crossed the line, this time he tried to get in the middle of her true love. She finally got a date with Kieran Muellen, the unbelievably handsome – with his honey colored eyes and brown hair – resident that she had met when she visited Carlisle at the hospital two months ago. She had tried seducing him ever since but he was so damn serious, always worried about discretion. Last week she decided that she had enough of his excuses and practically attacked him at the hospital's park lot. After a rather passionate kiss, he had gave up and asked her to dinner.

And somehow that asshole had known where she went because he simple showed up at the restaurant, escorted by that whore of his. Seriously, he had to be fucking Leah. What other reason she could possibly have to follow his every step?

She had to be fair. He hadn't done anything embarrassing or threatening to them, he was polite to Kieran and wished that they had fun but the mere fact that he had the nerve to be there, stalking her, watching her every move was enough to get her wanting to kill him and his prostitute.

She made the decision right at that moment, he has to go. She would send him away and there was no way someone would convince her otherwise. She was surprised, though, with her mother's reaction. She had thought that she'd make a scene, trying reasoning with her, telling her how much the dog needed her…

"It's about time! What took you so long to get ride of the mongrel?" Bella said, shocking her.

"What? I thought that you were his undying friend, that you wanted him in your family." Nessie answered.

"That was before he had the nerve to imprint on my baby minutes after her birth. I let him around because it was convenient; he scared the hell out the Volturi. The retard thought that he'd be part of my family as my son-in-law. Well, now we'll show him." she retorted calmly, with the most evil smile her daughter ever saw on her face.

A part of her felt sorry for him. She wasn't a heartless bitch, as slut Leah had called her once. She knew that it wasn't his fault that he imprinted on her and she was really astonished because her mother made clear that her family was taking advantage of him for all these years. That didn't make her change her resolve.

So the next day when the stupid asshole showed up – because no matter what insult Nessie threw on his face, he always showed up – she was waiting for him at the house's porch. She decided that she wouldn't even allow him inside the house. It was time to get ride of the horrible wet dog smell.

"But, Nessie, I can't live without you, you're my everything. I-I promise that I'd behave from now on. I'd keep my love to myself. Just don't send me away, let me be your friend." he begged.

_He fucking begged,_ Nessie thought, disgusted.

"You heard her, Jacob! She's not yours and she'd never be. Accept that and leave. We don't need you anymore." Bella said at the house's door. Nessie hadn't known she was there.

He stared at Bella as he was seeing a ghost or the devil incarnated. His eyes shone with forming tears. If she wasn't so mad with this irrational man, Nessie would pity him.

But she was mad and she felt a little satisfaction with his realization that he no longer belonged to their family. In fact, he never did; he had been merely an useful weapon against the Volturi.

"You don't _need_ me?" he whispered almost inaudible, marking every word, as he was reciting to himself.

"Yes, I don't! _We_ don't." Nessie said firmly.

With that he phased, tearing his clothes apart, and ran away at full speed. Nessie thought briefly that she never saw him running so fast before.

A relieve wave watched over her. It was over, he wouldn't come back, she just knew it. She had rejected him over and over but he only believed when her mom interfered. There was something in her harsh words that didn't let any room for argument. She started laughing almost hysterically, throwing herself on her mom's arms. She was free!

"He's gone, Mom. He's gone. Now I can live my life as I want; now I'm free to have a relationship with Kieran. I'm so happy!" she explained when she saw her mom's surprised face.

They were walking inside the house but someone was blocking their way. Nessie looked up and found Jasper's rigid expression. A guilty feeling burned her cheeks instantly.

"Yes, Nessie, you're free but at what price? I'm glad that you're happy and I really hope that everything works well for you in the future but you should have thought better on the consequences. I'm shocked with your behavior, Bella. I thought that you were better than this." He said severely, his southern accent more evident due his stress.

He had sensed Jacob's misery and it had almost made him insane. No one should have to endure this; no one should feel this amount of pain. It was just wrong. They were cruel with him.

"I know that you thing it's wrong, Jasper, but I won't allow you to talk with my daughter and wife in this tone. You have no business in that matter and we would appreciate if you keep your opinion to yourself. It's over now, he won't come back, I saw in his thoughts, so there's no point on fighting over this." Edward said entering the room.

He had heard everything from his piano room and, although he partially agreed with Jasper, there was no way he'd let him lecture his wife and daughter. He couldn't comprehend what his family had been through over the years with that monster.

Jacob Black was always so sure of Nessie's future, of their future wedding, even when she was a baby. He knew that he didn't thought about her as a woman when she was little, he only had developed romantic feelings for Edward's baby six months ago, when she reached full maturity but that didn't change the fact that he thought that Nessie was his property. They lived in constant fear that one day he'd lost control and kidnap Renesmee or something like that, especially when she started to take interest in other men – Kieran Muellen to be exact.

"Don't worry, Dad. I'm not gonna fight with Jasper, I'm too happy to bother with his opinion. I'm gonna call Kieran and see if he wants to go to the movies or something. See you all later." Nessie said happily, running at vampire speed to her room.

And so a new stage on Nessie's life began. Kieran was eager to see her again, they went to the movies the next day and they started to see each other regularly over the next days. A month before Nessie broke up with Jacob Kieran asked her if she wanted to be his girlfriend. Nothing could describe what she felt at that moment; it was like a miracle, all of her romantic dreams were coming true, she had never been happier.

The only thing that was wrong in her life was her relationship with her grandfather Charlie. He was really disappointed with her for the way she had treated Jacob, he said that Jacob was drowning in misery and that she should at least try to be his friend for his sake. But she wouldn't be dragged to that hell again; she wouldn't be Jacob's friend, not even in a million years. As far as she concerned he was just a stalker pedophile.

"Oh, and that arrogant boyfriend of yours is not? Oh, yes, that's right; I forgot that he doesn't know that you're only eight year old." Charlie answered bitterly.

Nessie never went to Charlie's house again after that day. Part of her decision had to do with the fact that Charlie's new family – Sue, Leah and Seth Clearwater – worshiped Jacob; he had assumed the reservation pack's Alpha duties after Sam's retirement, so he was considered a god. They looked at her as she was some disgusting crap, obviously offended by her refusal to their leader, from the moment she entered the house until her departure. Leah was the worst, she had even said that Nessie turned out to be the monster they all thought she was when Bella was pregnant with her.

"I don't care. All I care about it's Kieran and he's mine now so I don't need you and your stinky wolf family, Charlie! You can all go the hell!" She yelled before running out the house, slamming the door at her exit.

She cried for hours that night. They were being so mean to her. It wasn't her fault that she hadn't fall in love with that stupid dog. It wasn't her fault that he had imprinted on her. She hated Jacob even more after that; all her family was breaking apart because of that stupid animal.

Jasper and Alice went to Denali after their argument because he said that he couldn't handle to be a part of Jacob's destruction – talking about being melodramatic – and she was no longer welcomed on her grandpa's house. He had only brought disagreement to her life.

But it was all worth it. Because of Kieran.

Oh, Kieran.

He was everything a girl could ask on a guy and more. Kind, intelligent, charming, serious… The kind of guy they wrote movie scripts about it. Nessie was so in love…

Six months later they were married. The ceremony was very simple – Alice wasn't there to plan it – only a few friends and family were invited and it happened at the garden on the Cullen's house. Kieran's family was short, only her mother and brother.

His father had died in a car accident when he was little – that was the first thing that made him interested in Medicine, his child mind believed that if he was a doctor he could had save his dad – and he wasn't really close to his grandparents, aunts and uncles.

Nessie had the uncomfortable feeling that someone was watching her every move during the ceremony but she paid no attention to it, after all _she was being watched_, she was the bride. Charlie and his family didn't show up.

At first, Edward and Bella were worried because Kieran couldn't know about their secret but Nessie soothed them saying that she'd be extra careful and he'd never found out. It was very convenient that he was a doctor and had to work long shifts because she could went to a quick hunt and be back at their house before him, so he never suspected anything.

Their honeymoon was wonderful, they went to a small hotel in Paris, were they took their time enjoying themselves. Nessie thought that it was worth to wait until marriage for their first time. It was magical. She often thought playfully that it was a pity that they never really saw the city; the hotel room was much more appealing. After that first night they made love everyday before he left to the hospital and after he returned.

Nessie was deliriously happy. She was studying music at the college, which made Edward very proud and she was perfectly content on being a trophy wife. Kieran was very proud of having such a beautiful wife to show at all the business dinner parties or happy hours, she was always carefully dressed, manicured and her hair was always the prettiest among the doctor's wives. Carlisle didn't like the way Kieran flaunted her but he went silent, seeing how happy she was.

She never saw anyone of her previous friends anymore. In the very few times she met Charlie at the Cullen's – he knew what Bella said to Jacob and told her that her transformation was complete now therefore she didn't need his weak human family either, he only showed up when Bella called begging to see him – and asked about how was everybody his answer was always the same: _"Jacob is miserable."_ So she stopped asking.

Some times she missed her old life, the way she and Jacob were friends when she was little and she could count on him to everything, the way the pack treated her as an equal, as a sister. Having what she always wanted and happily married with the person she really loved allowed her to miss her friends, especially her protector and big brother, but she knew that nothing could be the same anymore. Jacob had forced her to extract them from her life.

It all started at their fifth year of marriage.

Although still happy, Nessie started feeling trapped in an unsustainable net of lies and loneliness. Kieran was always absence, always working on his endless shifts. He said that he had to work hard in the beginning to win respect but that made her always alone. It didn't help that he seemed to have lost his once very powerful sexual interest on her, they almost hadn't sex anymore and when they had it seemed like he was merely doing it as a weekly schedule: Monday – dinner with the family, Tuesday – happy hour at the pub, Wednesday – have sex with the wife.

They didn't have any children because, ironically, Kieran was sterile. She had been so worried while growing up that she'd never be able to conceive a child and when she marries someone, he was the one that couldn't generate children. So she hadn't any worry about raising a child to distract her.

Her life was pure routine. And they were constantly fighting.

Kieran thought that her family was weird, that her little brother Edward and his fiancée Bella controlled her life more than her parents, Esme and Carlisle. She couldn't tell him that they were her real parents, she couldn't tell him anything about her family, she couldn't even tell him why they all looked the same even after five years. Instead she had a monstrous supply of untouched cosmetic products, only to justify her looks.

"And don't even make me start on Jasper and Rosalie, they are just creepy. My Mom actually asks me if they'd be here when she came to visit us because they scared her. Jasper is always looking like he's about to jump her." he yelled frequently during their arguments.

Despite the fact that Jasper was never the same with her after the _broke up episode_ she loved then deeply and hearing Kieran's harsh words made her heart ache, she used to cry for hours every time he threw their strange behavior on her face.

These were the times she missed her old friends the most. The other doctor's wives that she constantly saw at Kieran's business reunions were nice but they were way too worried with their lives to really be her friends. She had finished college but she hadn't made any good friend there, at the time she didn't need them because she had Kieran.

Nessie had considered telling him everything and turning him because, honestly, she wouldn't age and eventually he'd die – which she won't – and he'd have to know everything eventually.

"Darling, I think you should wait a couple of years more before taking any decision. I know that, at some point, you'd have to tell him why you're not looking any older but you need to be sure if he'd want to be an immortal and accept our lifestyle to be with you forever." Edward reasoned with her.

Edward was very aware of his indiscretions; he had seen in his mind all his extra conjugal affairs. Nowadays he was particularly fascinated by a new nurse at the hospital – a fake blond girl, Valeria – that liked to make her hips touch his, pretending that there were little space in the emergency room. He thought arrogantly that she was in love with him but the true was that she had slept with all the hospital's male population, aside Carlisle.

In fact, Kieran started having affairs at their second year of marriage. Carlisle was the one that had to soothe Bella and Edward, telling them that he was only human after all, and humans tended to be bored with long relationships, they weren't like vampires that mate for eternity. Carlisle said that his behavior was no different from the rest of the hospital's staff; a lot of them were having affairs. He said that maybe he was just trying to fit in, to gain respect among the other doctors and that eventually he'd realize that he was wrong and stop it. They all did.

Therefore Edward had to endure seeing him cheating on his baby girl over and over. He was only glad that she was completely oblivious to his despicable escapes. But when she considered telling him about their secret and changing him, he had to put his fatherly authority in action, gently but firmly prohibiting her to tell him for another couple of years. They had to be sure that he'd accept their lifestyle.

At that moment, he wasn't even sure if Kieran really loved his daughter. He had asked Jasper once but he refused discussing Nessie's marriage, he still felt they had been wrong with Jake.

After another huge fight that took Kieran out of their house for a week, Nessie begged him to look for marriage counseling. Two years of intense therapy later, Nessie was surprised by a law sue. Her world fell apart that day.

Kieran was being sued by one of the hospital's nurses that alleged he was her two months old child's father and she was demanding child support. His lawyer had laughed happily at their first appointment saying that it was the easiest case he'd won, since it was clinically proved that Kieran couldn't be Valeria's child father. Nessie asked the lawyer right there if he'd be her divorce attorney.

"What?" Kieran screamed, looking at her as if she had gone insane.

"It's over, Kieran. I talked to my father and he told me everything. He told me that you were having a very open affair with Valeria even before we started therapy and that you never stopped seeing her. He also told me that you slept with other women before Valeria and during your affair. I guess that explains why you were so uninterested on me in bed." she answered coldly.

The divorce was painful and slow.

Kieran had refused to sign the papers, saying that he loved her and that he'd change, that he'd be a good husband, he told her that everything he did was just because he loved her too much and he thought that he didn't deserve her. He stalked her around the city, showing up at the house late at night, trying to win her back but she was so disgusted by the thought of him having unprotected extra conjugal affairs that she often vomited when he touched her.

She never was so glad of being a half vampire immune to diseases; all that time she was under the danger of having a STD. One year later her first file for divorce, she found herself forced to move back to the Cullen's house to escape his advances.

Nessie cried regularly thinking about the mess she did with her life, thinking about how she could be so blind. It was so obvious that there was something wrong with Kieran, all the signs where there. Why couldn't she see? She thought that she was one of those women that had everything at sight but refused to look at it.

She couldn't recall the last time she was happy, the last time she was carefree, that she truly laughed. Every time she thought about this, an image of a calm beach popped in her head. She knew that beach as the back of her hand but there was at least eight years that she has been there. She didn't even know if she was still allowed there. All these thoughts inevitably leaded her to the tender image of Jacob's smile. Every time stronger. Until the point that she couldn't think about anything other than see him again.

In an impulse, Nessie took her dad's car and drove as fast as she could to Forks, to Charlie's house. The closer she was the worrier she went. She didn't know how they would react to her sudden visit but she had to go back, she had to see if there was some way of being that happy child again. She needed to find out if she could be part of their family again.

And she needed to see Jacob.

She knew that she had no right to ask his friendship again but she couldn't resist this pull to him, she couldn't fight the urge to see him again, to have a full answer when asking how he was. She just needed… _anything. _Anything she could get, as little as it was.

Nessie arrived at Charlie's house at lunch time but his car wasn't parked at the front as usual, clearing telling her that they weren't home but she knocked anyway. No answer, it was empty. She sighed, thinking that this was only one more thing she did wrong, visiting someone she hadn't seen in over two years without calling before.

Nessie went downtown and stopped at the gas station, trying to figure out what she'd do, if she'd come back home or wait for Charlie's return. She was about to get in the car again when she spotted a familiar figure crossing the street on the other side of the principal square, heading to the grocery store and she ran to him without even think twice.

Billy Black was the same as before, although his once black hair was almost gone, replaced by a shining silver gray tone that made him look a lot older than he actually was. His eyes seemed to have lost that bright happiness that she always admired as a little girl.

Her first impulse was to throw herself on him, hugging his massive built chest but she refrained herself. Looking closely she realized that he wasn't the same. Despite the wheelchair he was always energetic and happy. The man before her, looking at her severely as she was some stranger that he never met before, was serious and tired; he looked like he was carrying the world's weight on his back.

"Hi, Billy, how are you? Remember me?" Nessie asked timidly.

"How could I forget?" he murmured.

Nessie felt her cheeks burning with embarrassment. She had thought that he didn't recognize her, after not seeing her for over eight years. Why was he looking at her that way then?

"I came to visit Charlie but he's not home. I forgot to call before." she said, justifying her presence. She didn't know why but she felt that she needed to explain why she was talking to him.

"Yes, he's visiting Reneé with Sue. He'd come back in three days, I'm sure you won't wait for him that much." he said coldly and started wheeling himself away from her without saying good bye.

"Billy, wait! How is Jacob? Is he in the town too? I really wanted to see him." she called after him. She thought that she sounded a little desperate but she didn't care, she was desperate to see Jacob again.

Billy turned his head slowly to her again, the most ironic expression she ever saw on his face, and looked at her for a long time before answering.

"Yes, he's in the town. In fact, he lives here now. Would you like to have his address?"

"Yes, yes, I'd like that very much, thank you." she said happily, picking a pen and a little notepad in her bag and handing to him.

He wrote the address and gave it back to her. She still didn't understand the ironic look he was giving to her.

"Do you think that he'd be there now?" Nessie asked hopefully.

"Oh, yes, he's there." Billy said mysteriously and then he took off without saying good bye again.

Nessie wasted no time thinking about Billy's stranger behavior, all she wanted was seeing Jacob. A warm and bright sensation grew in her heart, radiating heat for all her body at that perspective. She programmed the address at the car's GPS and rode through the town, following the instructions.

When she arrived at the address she realized that Billy had made the worst joke in the world with her. He gave her the city's cemetery address.

_That asshole_, she thought bitterly.

She looked at the cemetery's door and was surprised to see a gigantic grey wolf at it. She half screamed, startled and in the next moment, Leah Clearwater was tossing a dress – that was tied to her ankle – over her head and walking to her.

_What? Isn't enough giving me the cemetery's address? He had to call Leah and tell her about her humiliation?_,was all she could think.

"Come, I'd take you to him." She said dryly.

_What was going on? Was it possible that Jacob really lived at a cemetery? Why would he do that? Was he working there?_, she thought franticly, following Leah's rapid steps.

They walked through some gravies and Leah stopped at a very beautiful one, it was simple with a black stone on its top but the stone gave it a solemn feeling. Nessie looked at the stone's carved words and her knees went weak, she couldn't hold her own weight and she fell kneeling at the ground.

It was wrote Jacob Black. Beloved son, brother and Alpha.

"He died last year. He had brain cancer." she said in a monotony tone, as a bothered teacher teaching an old lesson.

"What? How? When did you find out? It's impossible, he was a wolf, wolves don't get sick." Nessie was devastated; she thought that her heart would explode with the pain she was feeling.

"Wolves also don't get rejected by their imprints." Leah retorted cynically.

"What are you saying? Are you trying to blame me on this?" Nessie yelled hysterically.

"Well, maybe it was just a coincidence but his first hospitalization happened the day before your wedding. He fainted of a really bad headache right after he returned from your wedding. He went to the woods close to the Cullen's house and watched everything from there." she shrugged.

"He-he was there?" Nessie bubbled.

_The watching sensation_, she thought, remembering.

"Yes. We tried to persuade him not to but he said that he had to see for himself, that maybe seeing that it was real could finally cure him." Leah answered.

"Y-you think that he g-got sick because I got m-married." she whispered almost for herself. It wasn't a question.

She couldn't believe this, it was a joke, a sick joke. Jacob couldn't be dead, they were lying to her. She'd know, she'd feel, Charlie would have told her. Her Jacob wasn't dead, they were hiding him.

"He went deeply depressed after you sent him away. He was seeing a therapist but it wasn't helping, he was just lifeless, he seemed catatonic. The only times that he reacted at something were the ones that Edward came to visit him because he used to spend hours talking about your new accomplishes. Your father saw his condition on Charlie's head and tried to easy his conscience, rubbing his damn money on Jacob's face, offering to pay for his treatment, saying that he could arranged the best one because of Carlisle's contact but Jake didn't want it, he wanted to die, I saw it on his mind when we were on wolf form, he thought that it was the only pain the stop the pain of losing you. As much as I hate that leech father of yours I have to admit that he was the one that kept Jacob with us for so long, his news about you were the only thing that brought life to his face." Leah continued telling her Jacob's story, oblivious to Nessie's denial.

"My father knew? All the time?" Nessie couldn't find her voice; she talked in whispers, as if talking out loud would make Jacob's death real.

"No, not all the time. He only found out one year after his first diagnostic." Leah shrugged again, nonchalantly.

Nessie didn't say anything else, she just ran. She never ran so fast in all her life, not even when she was putting an effort to beat Emmett at their racing contests. She had to see Edward. Her dad wouldn't lie to her, he'd tell her that they were lying and he'd go to La Push with her, to obligate them to tell her where they hided Jacob. She ran for hours, nothing else mattered, not even her legs pain from the running.

"Dad, Dad!" she yelled, storming at the Cullen's living room.

"Wow, kid, that it easy! Where's the fire?" Emmett teased her, oblivious to her desperation.

"Where is my father, Emmett? I want him now." she yelled with the full force of her lungs.

"Calm down, love. I'm here." Edward ran to his daughter, worried about the lack of coherence on her thoughts, her mind was just chaotic.

"Dad, you have to go with me to La Push, they're hiding Jake from me, they don't let me see him. They came up with a ridiculous story about brain cancer. Dad, we have to go, now. Who knows what they're doing to him, why they're hiding him…" Nessie was yelling louder and louder, she looked insane.

"Nessie, Jacob is dead." Edward said slowly and firmly, hugging his baby the tighter he could.

She was having a nervous break down; he needed to do something, to hold her in place.

"NO. NO. NO. You knew it. You knew it and you never told me." she screamed.

She threw herself on him, punching his face so hard that he flew across the room, landing loudly over the TV, trashing everything on his way but she didn't let him recover, climbing on him and punching, biting and kicking. She was out of control, she wanted to rip that man to shreds, the man that hided Jacob's disease from her, that hided his _death _from her.

"You're lying, you're lying! Where is he? What have you done to my Jacob?" Nessie screamed repeatedly.

It was necessary Emmett and Jasper to restrain her and Rosalie and Edward to force her drink a sedative – since her skin was impenetrable – to calm her down while she cried out. They only were allowed to release her after the sedative got in her system and she fell sleep.

After hours of struggling with his daughter Edward threw himself over his bed, trying to block all his family's thoughts. Their pain over his beloved little one was unbearable. For the first time ever he thanked God for not being able to read Bella's mind.

"Edward, is it true? Is Jacob really dead?" Bella's voice sounded in the dark room, so quiet that it could be mistaken by the wind.

"Yes, my love. He died last year. I-I tried, Bella. I s-swear for God that I tried but he never listened to me, he-he never let me help him. I could have paid for a good treatment; I could have talked to Carlisle. I tried, I swear, I swear..." he said quietly, desperate.

Shame and guilty had torn Edward's soul since the day he found the true out of Charlie's mind but he didn't have the heart to tell Bella, he knew that she'd blame herself because she was rude and – let's face it – selfish with him.

"Oh, God. Why don't you ever tell me?" she asked with a broken, sad tone.

"What difference would make?" he answered sincerely.

Edward realized that she was dry sobbing and his death heart died a little more. Bella was a mess; she never realized how much her life was lacking Jacob's presence until the moment she found out that he was dead. She couldn't comprehend how she could be feeling so empty; feeling like a part of her had gone with him if until yesterday she hated him so much for trying to steal her daughter.

The next days were hell on Earth.

Nessie was uncontrollable, she went from frozen stares to raged bursts in a matter of minutes, she was completely out of her mind. She accused them over and over to be hiding and hurting Jacob, she tried to escape almost every day, sometimes twice a day, trying to _help Jacob, he's alone at the other side, he needs me_ as she screamed with the full force of her lungs constantly. Her wrath was directed to Bella almost every time.

"You! You're the one doing this; you're the one that is trying to keep Jacob for yourself! You're the one that told me that Kieran was better than him. You'd never have him, he's mine. He doesn't love you, he loves me, he always had loved me. Me and only me. He never loved you. Never. He's mine. Mine." she cried often, deliriously.

Bella felt miserable. Despite all the resentment she had, despite all the repugnance that Jacob's imprinting caused her a part of her still loved him. She knew that she was cruel with him in that day eight years ago and the remorse burned deep inside her lost soul. She thought that Nessie's break down was God's punishment for her selfishness.

Edward was terrified. He understood that what he had thought it was a momentary reaction for something that Nessie couldn't consider as normal, being almost immortal, turned out to be a very profound depression. His daughter's denial wasn't normal. Even a month after finding about Jake's death she continued looking for him. After a while having to sedate her repeatedly he took a desperate measure.

He called Sam Uley.

"I don't know what you want from me, Edward Cullen. We own you nothing." Sam said dryly.

"Yes, Sam, I know that and I wouldn't call you if I had some other option but we're all just too scared. We have this feeling that Nessie can try something reckless. I fear that she can try to k-kill herself." he said the last part in a shaking whisper.

"It's only fair, isn't it? We lost a family member, why shouldn't you?" he answered bitterly.

Sam's cold logic had the same effect as a punch in Edward's face. He wouldn't help, even if he could.

"Please, Sam…" he begged with all the force of his dead heart.

He didn't care if he'd have to bend on his knees for the entire wolf pack, he needed some answer and he needed anything that could help his precious daughter.

Sam sighed, defeat. He wasn't a bad person, he never wanted this, he never wanted war. He was just tired of his tribe suffering due the Cullen's presence. He was just very sorry about Jacob's death.

"What do you want to know, Edward? There's not much I can tell you. We have only a lot of theories and legends." he said at last.

"Theories are fine. Why now, Sam? Why all the suddenly, after eight long years, after his death? I don't understand, she hated him…" Edward breathed.

"Maybe she didn't. Maybe she acted the way she did because she was confused and angry, feeling suffocated. Maybe she'd understand what she felt with the time if you didn't surround her with prejudice and wrath. Now this situation is impossible to solve because her imprint is gone. It's possible that she felt secure even away from him for so many years, even thinking that she hated him. Deep inside her she knew that he was there, waiting for her. now that he's dead she can't expect to come back, he's not there anymore and no imprint can survive without her or his mate. I wish that it was different but it isn't. If it was Jacob would be alive now." Sam said with an unbearable pain in his tone.

"We didn't surround my daughter with prejudice and wrath." Edward murmured more as an assurance than an excuse.

"Oh, didn't you? How many times your blond sister called him names and said he reeked? Hadn't Bella tried to attack him when she found out that he imprinted on her? I might be wrong but that doesn't seem a very accepting way to treat someone." He retorted disgusted.

"We, we…" Edward couldn't think about anything that could exempt his family from Sam's accusations.

"I'm sorry, Edward Cullen. There's nothing I can do. In my opinion what is happening to your daughter is the imprinting claiming her share of suffering." Sam sighed again.

"But she survived fine without him until now." Edward replied, stubbornly.

"She's half vampire. We don't know what your genetics can do to her, how this affect the imprinting. But we do know that an imprint is a soul mate. I know for experience. The day my imprint die would be the day I'd stop living and I'd follow her as soon as I can. Tell me something, when did you noticed that she was missing him, that she started to think about him again?" he asked seriously.

"About a year ago." Edward realized with wide eyes.

"Well, I guess that says something. There's nothing I can do. I'm sorry." and Sam hang up.

Edward sighed defeated and went to Nessie's side on her bedroom, feeling the world's weight over his shoulders.

She was thrashing and talking on her sleep again. It was always the same dream over and over.

Nessie was seeing Jacob in his wolf form from some unknown river margin. He was running happily around the forest, chasing butterflies and barking his wolf laugh. She screamed his name desperately trying to gain his attention but he seemed oblivious to her presence, perfectly happy alone in the forest. Then he phased back for his human and Sun's rays covered all the river and forest extension, hiding Jacob for her view.

Jacob continued running contently, appearing and disappearing behind the Sun's rays curtains. Nessie tried to reach him repeatedly but she wasn't able to cross the river, she couldn't swim fast enough to cross the river before waking up.

Edward frequently speculated if a vampire could possibly go insane because he certainly felt on the edge of insanity seeing his daughter suffering. Edward gently shook Nessie and she woke up confused.

"Dad? Dad, I know where Jake is. Please, take me to him. I swear I'm not lying, Dad. I know where he is…" she cried quietly.

She knew that he'd ignore her pleads, he kept insisting in that ridiculous story Leah invented about Jacob's death. That she-wolf was evil, she had managed to convince everyone that Jake was gone and they couldn't do anything about it but she didn't know Nessie, she'd show her.

She had everything planned already but she had to be very careful because if her dad found out her plan he'd try to stop her. She had discovered a way to cross the river. It was so simple that sometimes she blamed herself for her stupidity of not thinking about this sooner.

She knew that the river was only cleary available when she slept so she had to sleep the longest she could to swim all the way across the river.

But that was not easy.

She had tried every known relaxing technique to prolong her sleep but they all only gave one or two hours more. She needed much more because the river was very extensive, every time she thought that she was close to the other edge she noticed that in fact she hadn't even reached its middle.

Therefore Nessie started to look for sleeping inductive drugs. She researched all her grandfather's library and some internet articles. There were lot of material and none of them mentioned the effects on half vampires, as presumable, so she tested every one of them but nothing seemed to work.

Until she started to use another type of chemical composts, any type she could get her hands on and then she found that small doses of arsenic could knock her down for almost 12 hours. She knew that it was dangerous but it was worth if meant that she could reach Jacob's side of the river.

Edward and Bella were really worried about their daughter constant asleep and her considerable weight lost but there was not much they could do. Seeing a therapist was out of the question. Who could provide an adequate treatment for a half vampire that had lost her werewolf imprint?

Six months had passed and her condition was worst every day at her parents eyes but Nessie was deliriously happy. She was so close, just a little more and she'd reach the other side of the river. Just a little more.

Carlisle entered her room one night to check on her weak vitals and found a non breathing Nessie lying on the bed with a peaceful smile on her face. He collapsed on his knees, sobbing loudly uncontrollably. She was gone.

Nessie woke up feeling the Sun gentle burn on her arms exposed skin with a light feeling on her heart. A familiar finger was tracing her face's features, leaving tickling goose bumps in its course.

"Hey, sleepy head! Wake up!" a familiar husky voice greeted her.

"Jacob!" she screamed, amazed and happy.

"Hi, love! What took you so long?" he asked before leaning down and pressing his lips over hers.


End file.
